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beer

Imagine what you think and want this beer to taste like:

“Blue Agave Infused [Pilsner] Aged on Tequila Barrel Staves.”

You’re wrong.  With the knowldge that it’s 6.6% ABV, imagine what it should taste like.  Not what you might expect, not what other beers aged in barrels taste like, but that description, and ABV, should taste like.  Like, exactly what it should taste like, oddly exactly what it should taste like.

That’s Oculto.

Oculto 1

I was…really weirded out by how not what I expected it is and yet how that’s exactly what it is supposed to taste like.


Oculto

Appearance: It looks like a pilsner – golden, white head, your standard beer – only a bit darker.  It looks like you poured me a standard beer.

Oculto 4

CLEAR BOTTLE THOUGH?  REALLY?

Scent: Agave.  I think.  It’s fruity and sweet.  It doesn’t smell like beer, really.

Taste: It’s exactly what it should be, even if my small mind can’t wrap itself around the flavor.  You mostly taste agave, maybe a hint of tequilla, and an undertone of bitter pilsner, but not much of one.  It tastes like beer, mostly.

But here is an interesting thing: it is probably the smoothest beer that I’ve ever drank that actually had flavor.  It goes down super-easy and I could drink a lot of these quite quickly.

Quality: What are we judging here?  I honestly am torn between, “This is cheap drivel” and “It’s actually really nice, if odd and not traditional at all.”  I don’t know; I honestly can’t judge.  I checked beer advocate and…yeah, way to snobby to judge this beer.  It doesn’t taste like corn syrup, it doesn’t smell awful and cheap, it’s just different.

Drinkability: It goes down smooth unless you’re too good for it.  Now, you might not like it, it might not suit your taste, but it is smooth.

Overall: I like it, I think.  Maybe.  I don’t know…it’s too damn confusing…

Unbiased: Throw a dart at the board…B.  C.  B-.  B+.  I guess.  Maybe.  This beer is so damn confusing…

Biased: I’m not even going to try to give a biased grade on it.  One drink I want more, one drink I wonder what demon created it.  I’ve become a teenage girl; I can’t even.


Here’s ABInBev’s website for Oculto, for what it is.

To all the snobs out there: don’t buy it.  You’ll hate it, you’ll call everyone who enjoys it a plebeian, and I don’t want to hear about how evil ABInBev is.  If you want something smooth and just freaking odd, try it.

Oh, and adding lime juice makes it worse.  Almost instant regret.

To lacking self-control,
– Robby

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